Wow, ArtScroll really makes a difference!

This year for Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, I tried some new Machzors I got from ArtScroll during their last Hanukkah sale. These were the interlinear type, where the English words are printed below the Hebrew words, so you can follow the English with the Hebrew. (Sample page) May be a tad confusing at first, but I've been using some of their other interlinear products (especially their Mincha/Maariv set) so I was used to it.

Wow, what a difference. Usually during Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur services, I can either follow some of the Hebrew, when they do some things I'm familiar with, or read in the English. But if I do one, I miss out on the other. With this, I got to experience several things both ways at once. For example, the Ashamnu (We have been guilty...) I could say it in Hebrew with the rest of the congregation, or I could read it to myself and understand it in English, but before, I couldn't do it at the same time, now I could. Same with the "Who will live, and Who will die" and "We are your people, you are our G-d", etc.

These were all things I knew how to say, and enjoyed saying them, or enjoyed reading and understanding them in English, but the juxtaposition makes both possible at the same time. Ideally at some point, if I can learn Hebrew, then it wouldn't be an issue, but that's working out to be a lot more difficult than I had thought.

Of course Chabad has their own Machzor which doesn't follow ArtScroll, but between the two of them, with a lot of flipping around, I was able to get through the service and feel more fulfilled for having done it.

Why is it on Yom Kippur...

Why on Yom Kippur does conversation always seem to turn to food?

I was mentioning to one member of our shul, who rides, how my Jewish motorcycle group would be having a meeting next month at a kosher restaurant. Then we started talking about the kosher restaurant business (business is hard, when the economy turns bad, people stop eating out), then about specific restaurants here and in Baltimore, then about Dougies, Subway, etc. It was about 4:30 pm (Mussaf was over around 3:15 pm, Mincha was at 4:45, so it wasn't worthwhile to go home), so talking about food definitely wasn't helping my fast. I made it, but didn't need the reminder midday! :-)

Feelings....

Laya's parents and her brother came down to stay with us for Rosh Hashana. Her brother had to be back at work Thursday morning, and her parents are leaving on a trip to Israel next week and needed to pack; so as soon as the Yom Tov was over, they had to leave.

We had already put Tikvah and Ahava to bed (they were yawning all through the evening), but once the door was open and Laya's brother started taking out the suitcases, Tikvah came down the stairs, soon followed by Ahava. Tikvah said "Daddy, I'm very sad that they are leaving." I reassured her that it was normal to be sad when people leave. Then she said "I almost feel like I'm going to cry!" (as she said that, her eyes got watery, and her lips started quivering. I gave her a hug, and reassured her, and pointed out that sometimes when our guests leave, mommy (Laya) does cry, so it's OK if you need to cry to let it out. Finally she said "Daddy, it hurts right here, it's hard to swallow" pointing to the lower part of her throat. Ahava, ever the echo of Tikvah, said it hurt her there too. This time Laya swooped in and said that it hurt her there too when people left and she was sad.

I then reminded Tikvah that it's nice when people visit, but at some point every does need to go home to get back to their lives. Otherwise, if we focus so much on how much it hurts when we leave, then no one will want to visit other people, because no one will want to leave. I also assured her that we would see them again.

After that, the kids felt a little better, and went off to bed without too much more of a protest. I went back downstairs. It always amazes me how well Tikvah is able to articulate her feelings. Even if she doesn't know the "adult" words, she can still describe how she's feeling, and even the physical aspects. I never thought about the tightness in the throat, but that happens to me as well. And as I told her, it's always sad when our guests leave, but better to experience that sadness than not have them at all.

Why do I do what I do

For those who may not be aware, every year I help to plan and put on the Baltimore/Washington Ride for Kids. This ride, along with 36 other "Ride for Kids" held throughout the year in 37 locations around the US, sponsors the Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation. We are their main source of income for research, family support, information services, etc. Before the rides started 25 years ago, a child diagnosed with a brain tumor had about a 4% chance of survival. Today the survival rate is about 60%. An enormous increase, but NOWHERE NEAR the survival rate it should be! (I'm basing the numbers from memory of the training session I had a week ago, can't guaranty I'm remembering right)

I started attending the rides in 2001. I had seen several magazine columnists write about the events, so figured I'd give it a try. I had no idea of the emotional impact this event would have on me. Every ride has a number of sidecars and big bikes up front. These bikes hold the true "Stars" of the ride, children currently undergoing treatment for, or have survived brain tumors.

I attended the ride again in 2002, with my new bride. Laya also saw and felt the emotional impact. At that ride I spoke with some people I knew who volunteered for the ride. One of them suggested I attend a Task Force meeting and see if I'd be interested in joining the Task Force that plans the ride, or at least be a volunteer at a future ride. I attended the meeting, and really enjoyed meeting and interacting with the folks on the Task Force. I joined, and the next year, 2003 I assisted the parking lead. In 2004 and 2005 I led the parking team myself. Then in 2006, the ride was on the 2nd day of Rosh Hashana. Also about this time I was becoming more observant, and part of the parking lead's job is to train parkers on Saturday, which I no longer wanted to do (required a long drive from home). So I trained a new person to become the parking lead, and that year I only helped to plan the ride, I didn't actually ride. After that year, the Task Force would check the calendar with me to make sure the ride wasn't on a Yom Tov.

Last year I helped to register clubs (the clubs that brought in the top amount of money got to ride directly behind the kids in the following year's ride), and I was supposed to do that again this year. However, I found out there was a conflict, and the parking lead was not able to attend. So I became the parking lead again (someone else agreed to do the training on Saturday for me). This year's event bust out the previous record, and we raised over $276,000 for the kids. Not only that, but my club raised the most money this year (with the help of some friends who credited their amounts to the club, and who just became honorary members!), so next year we get to ride up just behind the kids. I hope to ride, it'll be the first time since 2002 that I actually ride in the event.

But anyway, back to the heart of the matter... Why do I do this.

Take a look at this picture. These kids are all survivors. There were a total of 11 on stage, these are just some.


Paige, the beautiful little girl being interviewed, is 4 years old. That puts her smack in between Tikvah and Ahava. I thank G-d that my kids are healthy kids, (ptu, ptu, ptu) and feel like it is paying back (keeping up the good to help other kids who are not so fortunate). Plus, this type of activity gives a positive public view of motorcyclists. There are still many people out there who go by the old stereotypes of motorcyclists all being gang members, brawling, dealing drugs, etc.

And finally, I have to admit, it's also fun. At the end point this year, I was responsible for making sure 345 motorcycles were able to park without creaming each other. I'm happy to report I was successful! (see below.)

and no, I don't have big, beefy shoulders. There's a guy with a black leather jacket behind me.

Transitioning to Shabbos

Jacob Da Jew recently wrote a post about how his brother-in-law recently joined the workforce, and now truly appreciates the "rest" you take on Shabbos.

For me, it was the opposite. I wasn't Shabbos observant until about 2-3 years ago (I never did mark down the exact day I started). Before that, I couldn't figure out how people could observe Shabbos. After working all week, I eagerly awaited the weekend to do all the other things that needed doing. Shopping, going out, having fun, taking rides, etc.

When I married my observant wife, she said she accepted me as I was, and would not change me to try to make me Shomer Shabbos, kosher, etc. And for the first year or so, that's what it was. In fact I used to teach motorcycle classes once a month over the whole weekend. But something happened. I began to miss the Friday night Shabbos dinner. Eventually I made arrangements so I could be home on Friday night, but still teach Saturday and Sunday. But then something else happened. Now I was missing going to Shul! Huh? Where did this come from? I used to only go to Friday night services a few times a year. Now I'm disappointed that I'm not at services on Shabbos? Hmmmmm. Okay, so now I don't teach on the weekends anymore. But still, gotta have my e-mail! I check it several times an hour when awake! Well, hmmm, I guess I really don't get all that much email on Saturday. Maybe I don't need to check that often. You know what, I don't need to check at all. Let's just turn the computer off before we light the candles. Give the hard drive a rest from its constant spinning.

Boy, this is really going to be boring. For over 24 hours, no TV, no computer, no driving around and shopping. What the heck will we do anyway? Well, Shabbos dinner on Friday night is nice. Good family time. Saturday morning I get the kids up and let my wife sleep in a little bit. Then when she's up (maybe with a little nudging from me) I go to shul (the wife and kids will join me later) and I really enjoy davening there. In the afternoon, I play with the kids, or they go to a neighbor's house and run around wild there, and I get to take something I haven't taken since Kindergarten... a nice nap. Some dinner, then if Shabbos ends early enough, Havdalah for the whole family, otherwise we put the kids to bed, and a little private time to talk with my wife before Shabbos ends.

You know what? I like this! I don't miss the Saturday hullabaloo I used to participate in. It's nice to get a rest in, take a break from the average week. I've turned 180 degrees, now instead of being annoyed with Shabbos "interfering" with my schedule, I actually look forward to it and the break it gives me every week.

They don't teach boys this kind of stuff!!

So Tikvah is now into wanting braids in her hair. Here's my first ever attempt. It actually held for most of the day, just some hair on both sides of her face came out. (of the braid, not out from all her hair! I didn't pull that tight!)


One of the older girls in the shul did a great job braiding her hair last week. Took about a half hour to do though. She actually made three separate braids, then braided those together. I don't think I have the patience for something like that.

Ahava seems to have inherited my curly hair. (drives me nuts! I think it was Rita Rudner who joked about wanting to iron her curly hair) I don't know if braids will ever be in the cards for her.

So anyone know of some good websites or other places where I can learn to do a better, neater job of a braid?

Traveler or Tourist?

Every morning when I boot up my computer at work, we get a splash screen with various daily information. Part of it is a "Quote for the Day." I first read the quote for today quickly, but something struck me, and I went back and read it more slowly.

"The traveler sees what he sees.
The tourist sees what he has come to see."
G.K. Chesterton

I'd like to be a traveler, but many times I just wind up being a tourist. When I was in Israel for my first (and so far only) visit while my sister-in-law was getting married, I wanted to travel, but my parents-in-law mostly took us to various places. Some were interesting, but some were just them going down memory lane. My biggest disappointment was at the Kotel. While I was there, I saw the stairs that go up into the old city of Jerusalem. My in-laws had other things they wanted to do, and wouldn't take me up there. Every time I tried to find a chance to go back, they'd have another place they wanted to take us to, or something else we needed to do (I admit, the wedding was important. ;-) ) Towards the end of the visit I finally got a chance to break away from them, and went back to the Kotel. I went up the stairs and saw the many shops and restaurants. It was amazing to behold. I walked around and even up onto some of the walls that surround the city. What a beautiful view! I spent a few hours wandering around, looking at everything. At one point I made a wrong turn and noticed the stores became all Arabic. Something my mother-in-law feared would happen, and would be the end of me. I just turned around and headed back where I came from. No one made any problems. Out of my entire two weeks in Israel, those 4 hours or so are what I remember best.

When I return to Israel again (we are planning a return trip to see my sister- and brother-in-law, plus my niece!) I do want to tour various places, but I hope I'll get some time alone to get into a traveler mode as well. It's a totally different view.

No, really, we aren't laughing at you!!

A friend of mine from college recently wrote to me. He bought a scooter to use for small trips (e.g. to the supermarket) to save on gas. I received this email from him a few days ago:

You know I got a scooter from China last year, I fart around town on its 150 CC glory. I just use it to go to Grade A Supermarket to get some food for dinner or whatever, because it makes no sense to fire up the pickup truck for a quick errand. Sometimes I pass by people on real motorcycles, they give me some kind of gang sign. They lower their right hand and stick out two fingers like a peace sign.

Does this mean "Right on, brother!" or more like "Get a real bike, you jerk!"? The bike looks dorky, I look dorky, I even wear a helmet because even though Connecticut law says you don't have to, you can't appeal Newton's Three Laws. I'm not sure if I should just give this sign back to say "Power to the people!" Or "Twice as much back to you, you loser!"

Inquiring minds want to know!

I answered back:

Motorcyclists tend to wave to each other. Some give a full wave, others just hold down their hand. Some won't wave to scooter riders. I, and many others do. You're on two wheels. You're in the wind. You're a brother.

Sometimes I think of getting a cheapie scooter. My motorcycle gets 30 mpg. I know I can do a lot better, especially for a 10 mile commute that's pretty much no highway.

KTRSD! (Keep the rubber side down!)

He proudly told me about what a piece of junk his scooter is... direct quote: "It's a piece of junk but a really fun piece of junk." (no-name type of brand, comes with assembly required, pieces come pre-broken to save you the hassle, trip odometer doesn't work, etc.)

With gas prices the way they are, I've seen more scooters out on the road, and to a lesser extent, mopeds. In fact my aunt recently emailed the family and asked our opinion of her going out and getting a scooter (I'm all for it! She used to ride a motorcycle). I've also seen some of the impact of these new riders. They fit a sort of gray area. Most of the smaller scooters really aren't motorcycles, so as my friend pointed out, a lot of times helmets aren't required. (even in states that require motorcyclists to wear helmets) However, in at least Virginia and Maryland (I'm sure there are other states as well) they recently revised the laws. Now if your scooter/moped goes over 35 miles an hour, it is considered a motorcycle, and requires things like helmet usage, insurance, registration/license plate, etc. There is also more training being offered for scooter riders. In the past their only option was to take the Motorcycle Safety Foundation (MSF) course, which means learning to ride with a clutch. Scooters tend to be automatic drive vehicles (I'm not aware of any that are shiftable, but then again, my experiences with scooters is negligiable. But now the MSF offers a program called "ScooterSchool." I've heard of other training options for scooters as well. Some MSF classes will let you use a scooter in a regular class with motorcycles.

As I said to my friend, I have been thinking about getting a scooter for commutes to work. I can see several advantages to using them. Besides the gas advantages, scooters tend to use the side of the road more, nice during traffic backups. Of course, there are several disadvantages as well. They are mostly smaller than motorcycles, thus even harder to see. They aren't as quick as motorcycles, so might be harder to get out of the way if something should happen. And the lower powered ones definitely can't be used on the highways (nor would I want to!)

This is something I'll be thinking about for a while. But regardless, I still continue to wave to those riding scooters, mopeds, and of course motorcycles.

KTRSD!



A picture of the scooter my friend has. But as he puts it: "The bike in the picture looks much nicer than the reality of the one I own too. All the plastic parts fit together in the picture, and without all the gaps in mine. My turn signal stopped working right yesterday, it was always flashing left (turning it to right made both lights flash, like an hazard signal). I took out the switch, looked at it, found nothing wrong with it, put it back, and it worked fine. Go figure!"

AED - I didn't realize they were so simple

Recently my office installed a bunch of AEDs. (Automated External Defibrillator)

I've seen these around more and more at restaurants, airports, just about everywhere. But I always thought they were complicated things that required a lot of training. Our safety division started offering classes in CPR and AED use. I hoped I would never need the knowledge, but I figured I'd brush up on my CPR skills, as it has been a few years since I was last certified.

The course started with about 2 hours of CPR lessons. We had to relearn the sequence... now it's 30 compresses and 2 breaths. If we don't have a face mask, and don't know the person well, they say we don't even need to do the breaths, just keep pressing on the chest.

After that was completed, we started the AED training. To start us off, he had two people "walk in" and find a body on the ground. One started CPR, the other got the AED. That person, like me, never really saw or used an AED before. And he did the same thing I would have. He pulled out the manual. The instructor stopped everything and suggested they try again, this time, when they get the AED, the instructor said to just press the "Start" button. Turns out the AED talks to you and walks you through the entire process. When to hook up the pads (and the pads have diagrams to show exactly where they go), when to stop all contact with the person, when to press the button to shock (assuming all are clear), when to resume CPR, etc.

The AED doesn't do everything, you still need to pump the heart and breathe into the person, but now I know you don't need a lot of training or medical knowledge to use an AED. And I also know now that it doesn't replace CPR, but rather, supplements it. And according to our instructor, it increases the odds of survival from about 7% to around 95%!! Wow, I like those odds much better!!

Peer Pressure

I've heard of how easily kids succumb to peer pressure, but now I'm seeing it in Tikvah already (she turns 5 soon). She used to wear pants all the time. Then she started talking about how a few of the girls in her pre-school would always have a skirt or dress on, they never wore pants. (mostly the daughters of some of the Chabad rabbis). Now I've noticed in the last month or two that she hasn't worn pants at all, except for the few occasions she was told she needed them for a particular thing we were going to where skirts weren't a good idea (a playground if I remember right). Well, I guess there are worse things to have peer pressure about, but still, I'll keep an eye on her to make sure future changes are things that she really wants to do, and not just because "the other kids are doing it."

Oy...

Blogger outs himself

The first blog I ever read with any regularity, and that really showed me what a blog was all about, was "Waiter Rant." I've always tried to be a good tipper when eating out, but after reading the Waiter's writings, I made extra sure to do so. The Waiter fulfilled a dream that few bloggers dare hope for, his writing was so popular that he received a book offer. Today his book came out, and he exposed his true identity. I hope his books runs well (looks like it's off to a good start), and that he doesn't come across any disgruntled customers who figured out he was writing about them. :-)

Good luck Waiter!

Be careful how you ask G-d for things...

I was teaching a very basic motorcycle course last week. The weather forecast for that evening called for an 80% chance of thunderstorms. Before the class, I asked "Please, don't let it rain during class!" But I came prepared (ever the Boy Scout), I had my rain gear and my rain hat. I even bought a pack of extra strength dish washing gloves. You may laugh, but they keep my hands dry when teaching, which keeps me more comfortable.

Anyway, the class went off very well. We had 5 ladies in the class. We instructors know that the women tend to make better students. They usually listen better than the men do, and don't challenge us or try to show off quite as much as the guys do. (speaking on the average here) We finished up just ahead of schedule. By 8 pm, the bikes were loaded back in the trailer, the students received their stickers and were on their way back to their cars. I noticed the clouds were getting thicker, but nothing too threatening yet. I said I'd drop off the paperwork and give the keys (to the trailer) back to the police.

After dropping off the paperwork, I went into the building where the campus police are housed. The officer on duty was out on patrol, and said he'd be back in 10 minutes. When he came in, I noticed his shoulders were wet. Uh oh... When I walked out, it wasn't raining it was POURING. Drat, I had put all my rain gear back in the van, which was parked in the parking garage across the street. I made a mad dash to get there. My phone received an alert from the county, a funnel cloud was spotted about 20 miles west of where I was. Just what I need. I began the trip home. The rain just got heavier and heavier. One street was partially flooded (the water was up about 8-12 inches in the right lane). I emailed my wife to ask her to unlock the door so I could dash in the house. But would you know it... about 2 blocks from home, the rain let up! In fact, when I got in, my wife said it looked like it would rain soon, but nothing came yet. And there I was, dripping wet.

Next time I'll broaden my request... "Please don't let it rain until I get home from class!" :-)

Bystander behavior

Sorry for the quiet time... we recently had a family vacation for 2 weeks, then a medical issue that took up another week. Then after that my job issued some new computer policies which include not posting things on a website from the office, not even during breaks, when I tend to write to recharge my batteries.


The other day I came the following article in the Washington Post.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/07/15/AR2008071503150_pf.html (I believe the Post removed requirements of having to register to read an article. Sorry if they haven't.)

The basic summary of it is that a lot of times, when people witness an event (a few are given in the article: a woman collapses in a hospital waiting room, and a man is hit by a car when crossing a street, both of these events were caught on video, as well as the bystanders doing nothing) they tend to do nothing, except maybe call 911. Other than that, they don't want to get involved or help. As I was reading the article, I thought "I wouldn't have done that, I would have at least gone over to check on the person." But then the article stated: "Although we might think otherwise, most of us would not have behaved much differently from the people we see in these recent videos." It goes on to quote various sociologists and psychologists, and discusses "Bystander Behavior."

That forced me to think back to events I witnessed and my behavior then. Once I was returning to college after a bad week of chicken pox. I was just cleared to return by my doctor, and still had marks all over me. I was in Grand Central Station, transferring trains pretty late at night. There was a beggar there, in a wheel chair. A group of tough looking guys in their late teens or early twenties came over and started abusing the man, pushing him around unwillingly, prying him off when he would grab on to a signpost or something. I looked around, but didn't see any police in the area. I wasn't familiar with the train station, and didn't have a clue of what to do. Finally the people left the man alone and went to find something else to do. Another time I was on the DC Metro Rail line. A woman standing near me suddenly collapsed on the floor. My brain didn't even seem to register what happened, I was just looking around trying to figure out what was going on. In the meanwhile another woman bent down to hold the first one's head, and someone else called the train operator. When we arrived at the next station, a few people got off with the woman, and I saw them as we pulled out, standing with her, making sure she was okay. Why didn't I think of any of that.

Then again, there were some times when I tried to do something. I was in a shopping mall, and it looked like two kids were fighting. They were throwing kicks and punches back and forth. I saw a security guard and told him. He checked it out. When he came back, he said the kids were just goofing around. I felt my face flush, maybe I shouldn't have said anything. But then there was another time, I was riding my motorcycle and saw a rider pulled over on the left shoulder with his bike. I was a few lanes over, and couldn't make it to him safely. I thought about it, and decided to backtrack. I rode back to a previous exit, turned around, and this time I made sure I was in the left lane, and was able to pull up to him in the shoulder. His bike had broken down, and he didn't have a cell phone. I asked if he'd like a ride to the next exit, I could drop him off at a gas station with a phone. He said he had a friend with a pickup truck two exits down, could I drop him off there? It wasn't far from where I was going anyway, so I took him on the back of my bike and he guided me to his friend's place.

So I don't know, I guess given a little time to think, I can break the bystander behavior. Then again, the article states that if people are alone, they are more likely to come to someone else's aid. It also states "Real heroes are the ones who break out of the group norm."

Still, I hope I remember some of this if I'm ever in a situation like this again, and maybe get off my tush and actually do something.

Where'd they hide it??

The other day I plugged something into my van's powerport. The power instantly went out of the port, and the radio died as well. Must have blown a fuse. I looked all throughout the dashboard, underneath, the sides, etc. No luck. I checked the manual, but it wasn't very clear either. Oh, come on, I have a drive to make the next day!

Finally, out of sheer frustration, I pulled into a Dodge dealership. At the service area, I explained my problem to the office manager. She sent out the head of the shop to help me out. He spent about 5 minutes looking over all the same places I did. Then he popped the hood. Right next to the battery was this black box. Popped the lid off of that, and there were the fuses. We looked at the map, and found the right fuse, and it was blown. I got two new fuses (the spare was missing) and installed one of them. Everything worked fine. (I tossed out the splitter that caused the fuse to pop. Never did that before, but don't want to take any chances.) The service manager wished me well (and no charge, except the fuse) and I was rolling again.

I guess I'm still used to older technology. I never would have thought to look under the hood for a car's fuse box!

One down... many to go

I just got back from Tikvah's pre-school graduation. Next year starts Kindergarten. They did a great job, the kids had little caps on and everything. They had a luncheon afterwards, and I sat down with the father of one of Tikvah's best friends. He said "This is the first of many graduations." My baby isn't even 5 years old yet, (she's very happy to remind me that it's coming up this summer though!) and I'm already thinking about grade school graduation, high school graduation, college graduation, etc. *sigh* Seems like a long way away, but then again, it seems like I was holding a crying, newborn Tikvah only yesterday.