Feelings....

Laya's parents and her brother came down to stay with us for Rosh Hashana. Her brother had to be back at work Thursday morning, and her parents are leaving on a trip to Israel next week and needed to pack; so as soon as the Yom Tov was over, they had to leave.

We had already put Tikvah and Ahava to bed (they were yawning all through the evening), but once the door was open and Laya's brother started taking out the suitcases, Tikvah came down the stairs, soon followed by Ahava. Tikvah said "Daddy, I'm very sad that they are leaving." I reassured her that it was normal to be sad when people leave. Then she said "I almost feel like I'm going to cry!" (as she said that, her eyes got watery, and her lips started quivering. I gave her a hug, and reassured her, and pointed out that sometimes when our guests leave, mommy (Laya) does cry, so it's OK if you need to cry to let it out. Finally she said "Daddy, it hurts right here, it's hard to swallow" pointing to the lower part of her throat. Ahava, ever the echo of Tikvah, said it hurt her there too. This time Laya swooped in and said that it hurt her there too when people left and she was sad.

I then reminded Tikvah that it's nice when people visit, but at some point every does need to go home to get back to their lives. Otherwise, if we focus so much on how much it hurts when we leave, then no one will want to visit other people, because no one will want to leave. I also assured her that we would see them again.

After that, the kids felt a little better, and went off to bed without too much more of a protest. I went back downstairs. It always amazes me how well Tikvah is able to articulate her feelings. Even if she doesn't know the "adult" words, she can still describe how she's feeling, and even the physical aspects. I never thought about the tightness in the throat, but that happens to me as well. And as I told her, it's always sad when our guests leave, but better to experience that sadness than not have them at all.

Sharing Leisure...

My parents have been going to the same resort hotel in Massachusetts for almost 30 years. When I was growing up with them, I would go annually too. We went with several other families. Just about all the fathers (and some of the mothers) were teachers, so it was during the holiday break. One thing I remember is at some point, I'd always grab a book and go sit in the lobby, near the big fireplace which always had a nice fire going, and just read for a while. Now that we live so far away, I rarely get to join my parents anymore. However, this year we loaded up the kids and made the trek to visit and relax.

Somewhere around the middle of the day, I told the girls I was going to sit by the fireplace and read. Ahava jumped up and grabbed a book to join me. Tikvah ran after us after we started off. After we all settled by the fire, the girls opened up their books and looked at the pictures, and I started to read. It was only about 5 minutes later when Tikvah piped up with "I'm ready to go back now." I told her that she'd have to give us another 5 minutes (I wanted to finish the chapter I was in) then we'd head back. I was a little disappointed as I wanted to read more. About halfway back to the room, we ran into my mother. She was heading toward our room, and offered to take Tikvah back. I asked Ahava if she wanted to go back with grandma, or back to the fireplace with me. She didn't answer, just gripped her book (Sesame Street Dictionary) and turned right around and headed back to the fireplace.

We sat down and enjoyed the fire for a good half hour before heading back. It felt so nice to share an activity like that with her. Laya sometimes thinks that I favor one child over the other. I really don't think I do. Tikvah is older, and is at the point where she should be expanding her horizons and trying new things. Some things, Ahava just isn't ready to try out yet. But this was something she could do, and when I stole a few glances at her, I could see she was really enjoying the book. While she can't read yet (that I know of anyway!) she was pointing at all the pictures and talking to herself about them. And I had a chance to catch up with a few more chapters of Harry Potter. If Ahava did catch the reading bug from me, she has a lot of books ahead of her to read.

Let's Dance!

Simchat Torah at my shul (a Chabad center) is always a rocking good time! When we dance with the Torah, we dance! This year in the days leading up to Simchat Torah, Tikvah was learning about it at school, and also Laya and I mentioned it several times (especially in the context of "If you want to have fun dancing at night, you are going to have to take a nap, otherwise you'll sleep right through it).

And she and Ahava did dance, mostly from on my shoulders, but they also joined in with some of the other young girls dancing around as well. But the "Kodak" moment for me (ummm, actually, can you have a Kodak moment on a Yom Tov/Shabbos when you can't actually use a camera?) was a little later on. They laid a Torah down on a table in the women's section, and the women formed a circle around it and were dancing around. Laya was sitting down with Ahava (one of both of them were probably worn out). Tikvah butted into the circle, took two of the women's hands apart and joined right in. It was all grown women, and Tikvah, and while she wasn't quite getting all the steps right, she was really getting into it with them.

Unfortunately soon after that, Ahava saw what was going on and ran up to join in. (She's a "Me-too" child, wants to do everything her big sister does). The problem is that Ahava ran up just as the women were shifting from one foot to the other which sort of resulted in a butt shift, and one woman accidentally sent her butt right into Ahava's face just as she was running up, causing her to bounce off and crash into the floor. I started a mental countdown, "5-4-3-2-1" "WWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" One of the other ladies scooped her up and I waved her over to me. A little TLC from daddy (and mom came up soon afterwards as well) and she was raring to go again.

The other fun thing this year was the mix of singing and dancing. Usually at our Chabad center there are a good mix of Ashkenazi, Sephardic, and Lubavitch Jews. This year there were also several Yemenite Jews as well. When some of the bids for certain verses got into nice high numbers, they let out a good "Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi." Plus it was interesting to hear how they sang some of the verses. That's one fun thing about Chabad, you never know what type of person will come in next and what you'll learn from them. And in the end, it all blends in and we all have a meaningful and fun experience together.

Yes, we are proud of you, but...

Our youngest daughter, Ahava, is currently in the midst of being potty trained. She's now in the stage where she's using the potty, and wants credit for doing so. This usually involves "Look, I made in the potty" and mom or I (or even big sister) taking a look in, and giving her great praise and applause, and a star on the refrigerator calendar. Then cleaning it up. (To bro-in-law in Israel... you thought diapers were bad?? Good luck with this one... you have about a year or so, then YOU'LL be doing this! *evil grin*)

So anyway, last night when the kids were brushing their teeth, I laid down on my bed for a few minutes (didn't sleep well the night before). Ahava then said "Daddy, daddy, look!!" Before I knew it, she was walking in the bedroom, carrying her potty. I jumped out of bed and took it from her. "Oh, sweetie, very nice, but ummmm, next time, just leave it in the bathroom, don't bring it into the bedroom, okay??"

At least it was only a number 1... Kids...

Playing with Scissors...

While I was out teaching people how to ride motorcycles yesterday, Laya got the kids some stuff to play with, draw with, or otherwise create with. One of the items they had was a pair of safety scissors. You know how kids are, you turn around for one minute, then look back... Laya saw Ahava cutting up some paper that wasn't meant for cutting up. The scissors were removed.

That night after getting home from class (long hot day... ugh) Laya and I were cleaning up the living / play room. Hmmm, what's this on the floor? Hair? Oy! It's curly, so it has to be from Ahava; Tikvah has straight hair. As we continued cleaning, we found more hair. Not a whole lot, just some strands here and there. Now we're wondering, who did the cutting, Tikvah, or Ahava?
I told Laya it could have been a lot worse. When my aunt was 2 or 3, and was supposed to be taking a nap, she decided she didn't like the curtains in the house. Snip, snip, snip... At least the hair will grow back... eventually.


Post thought: After just getting off the phone with my mother (to verify my aunt's age at the time of the crime) I found out that when she was young, she gave a haircut to the girl down the street, and vice versa. So Laya, at least the kids aren't both bald!! Now if they learn to cut their hair like I do... :-)